Sunday, January 6, 2008

28 weeks and baby story

I'm finally on the last leg of my pregnancy. I never thought nakakainip pa lang magbuntis. Haha. I'm really eager to have JB (we finally agreed on a name! nickname nga lang! haha) in my arms already!

I have to say, our son is a real trooper. The first few months of my pregnancy are all stress-filled with all the preparations we did for the wedding. Despite that, he remained healthy and we are so blessed that we didn't have any near miscarriage incidents. I had a couple of trips to the ER but these were not that threatening to the pregnancy.

Going to the 3rd trimester, I must say, some of the discomforts of pregnancy is finally kicking in. I'm finding it hard to have long walks as I get tired easily. There was a time during the holiday season that J had to massage my feet the whole night and the morning after just to relieve the pain. I've been gaining weight bit by bit and I'm happy to say that I'm right on track! During the 2nd trimester, pregnant women are supposed to gain 1 lb every week and as of my check up yesterday, I've already gained 13 lbs! Hopefully, everything will be normal (including the delivery!) until JB is born.

During the 2nd trimester, his movements were not that often and not that strong but lately I could always feel him and it's as if he's always doing a one-two punch inside my belly! It can really get uncomfortable and painful at times. But knowing that he's kicking--which means he is doing fine inside my tummy--is enough to make me endure the occassional discomfort and pain.

So on with the baby story. During the last week of July 2007, I'm already 1 week delayed of my period. This is not new since I've had this experience before but just for my peace of mind and to eliminate the thought of pregnancy, I took a pregnancy test. I was so sure I'm not pregnant since I'm on the pill (except for that one time na kitamaran kong uminom). I even told my friend (who accompanied me on buying the kit) that I'm sure the test will be negative. So the next morning when I took the test, I was caught dumbfounded when I saw the 2nd pink line appeared. "This can't be", I told myself. That "one time" that I neglected taking the pill proved to be life-changing. I was shaking and I felt cold rush through my body so I immediately went out of the washroom and headed to my room to call up J. He knew that I will be taking the test early that morning so he asked right away what the result was. I could not even utter the words "positive". There was a big big rock inside my throat that all I can utter are giberish words that he cannot understand. Then, I finally said it "buntis ako". After that, I found myself crying non-stop. However, J, on the other line, was celebrating. Needless to say, he was ready, I wasn't. The whole day, I couldn't concentrate on work. Everytime I'd have to tell a close friend about it, I'm almost always close to tears (if not crying like a baby already). All my plans for the future seemed to be blurry now. This baby is definitely not part of the immediate plans.

I went to Cabanatuan that weekend (I'm scheduled to go there anyway) and J and I talked about it. To my surprise, he was calm and mature about all these. While I, was whiny, incoherent and cries continuously! He was the one who laid out our options which at time was all blurry to me. Pregnancy has not sunk in yet. J just let me let out my frustrations for the night. I would find myself waking up every half an hour with teary eyes and a heavy heart. "I AM NOT READY" is the thought that is screaming in my head.

To verify the result of the pregnancy test, we tried searching for an OB-gyne in Cabanatuan but since it was already late in the afternoon on a Saturday, almost all clinics are already closed (some are until 12 noon only). So we decided to go back together to Manila to consult an OB-gyne and confirm if I was indeed pregnant. We went to Healthway in SM North and I had my first ever ultrasound. And there he was, as small as a peanut. Maybe due to an instant motherly instinct, I was able to spot him right away in the screen even before the doctor pointed where he is. Unlike before that I look at ultrasound pictures and I could not even locate where the baby was.

After the ultrasound, for the first time, it finally sunk in (partially). We're having a baby. And I can already sense that my life is going to be different from then on.

Before going to my house to tell my parents about it. We decided to tell his parents first. Surprisingly, they were really happy for us. They seem to be really excited for their first apo. His mom even gave me a few tips on how to take care of myself during the pregnancy.

On our way to my parents, J was silent. He's probably 10x more nervous than I was. He even told me that this is probably the hardest ordeal he has to go through. Harder than plebe days (the worst year in the Academy). Harder than hell week. But all these faded when we were finally able to talk to my parents. They were not that happy but they are not mad as well. I've already anticipated their disappointment. Me, being the only child. My mom immediately wanted us to get married... in church. I declined. I don't want to rush my wedding. I want a civil wedding first and then a church wedding when the baby is already born. But my mom refuses to budge. She's so firm in her decision that we should marry in Church already since she learned of our plans to marry in 2009. Dun din naman dw pupunta yun. Aagahan lang namin.

J understood my mom's point of view. After all, J's first option is we should marry in church right away. I was the one who suggested the civil rites.

After much thought and consultation from both sides of the family, they all got me agreeing on an October/November church wedding. And so here we are, almost 3 months of being husband and wife. We still have a long way to go but so far, so good. We're both anxious now to get hold of this precious miracle inside me.

It's not always sun-shiny mood though. There are times when I still get scared of being a mom and the responsibilities that come with the title. But I'm blessed with a loving husband, supportive parents and friends to help me refocus and help me see that there will be sacrifices but all these sacrifices are worth it. For our baby. =)

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