6 weird things

My long overdue tag from Kiel. =)

1. This game starts with 6 weird things about you.
2. People who got tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 weird things. (its fun promise:P)
3. They should as well state this rule clearly.
4. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.


1. I have 4 sim cards (globe, smart, sun and touch mobile). I use each one for different purposes. =) I think the only sim I don't have is that of talk 'n text.
2. One of my most favorite mommy chore is changing my son's nappies due to poop.
3. When I was young, I used to think people wearing eyeglasses can't have children.
4. Also, when I was young, I don't like to get married unless my husband's surname is the same as mine. Hehe. Mahal na mahal ko ang apelyido ko. =)
5. Smileys in text messages are very important to me to the point that I would sometimes pick a fight with my husband if his texts don't include it.
6. I brush my hair just once a day, after taking a bath. I just use my hands to fix it for the rest of the day. Tamad e! =)


I'm tagging YOU!

zzzzzzzz...

It's my third day back at work. I'm finding it really hard to get in the groove of working again. As one of my colleagues told me, I'm still floating. Hehe. And JB is not making the transition easier. This week, his sleeping pattern did a big turn around. From awake all afternoon to awake all night. He refuses to sleep from 11PM to 6AM. And he doesn't want to be left alone the whole time. I need to talk to him, carry him once in a while so he won't get cranky. If not for the willing grandparents who takes over by 4AM, I would have had no sleep at all. So for 2 consecutive nights now, I am just averaging 2 hours of peaceful slumber. Zzzzzz.......

Ack!

Reason for the title: I only have one more week of maternity leave and I'm back in the office!!! =( I will miss my JB!

Not only that, I have tons of things to do for this week that I won't be able to do when I start work again.

1. Need to go to SSS to claim my card.
2. Go to LTO to get student's permit.
3. Finish JB's baptismal invitation.
4. Distribute the invitations (mostly via email) and confirm attendance.
5. Scout for souvenirs and gift favors for his godparents.
6. Finalize the pictures for our wedding album. (Waah! Long overdue na to! As in! Apparently, having too many pictures has some disadvantages as well. Hehe)
7. Pick out the songs for our wedding video. (Sabi naman senyo, I'm a chronic procrastinator!)

Hay ang dami! And I want to finish all these by Wednesday so I can take Thursday off and go to Pampanga to visit hubby. I was there for about 6 hours yesterday because he's missing me badly. Hahaha! The short hours are worthwhile but of course, it's not enough especially since we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks already. (Weekend leaves have been hard to come by lately.) He's also missing his "mini me" so much but I can't bring him along since he hasn't been baptized yet.

I just hope I'll have more than enough energy (and time!) to do all of the above in 3 days!

confessions of a new mom

A little over a month ago, I gave birth to our dear JB. I have been meaning to give birth especially during the latter part of my pregnancy because of all the discomforts of a bulging tummy. I was telling myself that life would probably be easier when I’ve given birth already. Little did I know that my complaints before are nowhere near to what I will go through after I give birth.

My pregnancy was relatively easy. Delivery day wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it would be. Everything was well within what we hoped for (i.e. I had a normal delivery to our healthy baby boy). The hospital was a happy place for me as friends and family visited everyday. Everybody was happy for J and I. J proved to be the responsible husband and new father as he took care of everything and took good care of me when I can’t even lift myself up from the bed. I went home 2 days after giving birth while JB was left in the hospital to recuperate. On his 4^th day, we were finally able to bring him home…and things started to get tough for me from then on.

FEELING TRAPPED

The every 2-hour feedings, diaper changing, sleepless nights and figuring out what this little one needs took its toll on me. I would find myself crying for a lot of different reasons. That I will be all alone in taking care of JB when J goes back to camp, that I can never travel again without worrying how my baby is doing, that I will never be the spontaneous girl I was before. I feel like I was losing my identity from the overwhelming responsibility of motherhood. You see, I was never the domesticated type. And I thought that when our baby comes out, it would bring out the homemaker in me. But it didn’t.

There was a time, I was nursing JB and my mind was tracing my steps as to how I was led into this situation. Why with just one wrong decision, I now have to give up my comfortable life before. I felt guilty. To even think this way when this baby is a blessing to us. When a lot of people are praying for their own child and I can’t even appreciate mine. I was afraid to admit it at first until I got tired pretending… loving JB didn’t come easy for me. I was feeling more of a prisoner than that of a mother. Our room seemed more like jail to me and JB as the big ball and chain on my feet. I am blaming baby powder and diaper commercials for my high expectations.

I hit rock bottom when JB had one week of crying fits from 12MN to 5am. On the 7^th night, I was feeling dizzy and out of breath. As if I was drowning. It was probably combination of fatigue, lack of sleep and my extreme sadness that bottomed me out. As I searched the net the following day, “depression” found a whole new meaning for me. Except for the “thoughts of harming the baby and oneself” and “has suicidal tendencies”, I pretty much have all the symptoms of post partum depression (PPD). I learned that what I had on the 7^th night was a case of panic attack.

With the newfound knowledge of my symptoms, days that followed aren’t exactly easy but at least I have a clearer understanding of what I’m going through and whenever I sense a panic attack on its way, I take necessary actions to somehow get me through it.

THE ROAD TO HEALING

I don’t know if it was the first time that I went out of the house and was away for a couple of hours with a friend or when one morning, JB was staring at me and suddenly gave me a big smile that I started to feel good again. I realized there were less difficult days and I regained the energy I lost during the first month. I was getting to know JB more. He is no longer the unsettled, unresponsive, cranky little man.

My medical condition needed medical attention, but my therapy was way way better than any psychologist could give me. I have a very strong support system from my family and my friends. Every time I’d start feeling low again, there’s always somebody whom I can talk to about my emotions. Close friends visited the house every so often which helped a lot in my recovery. According to my research, little alone time should be spent when dealing with PPD.

There are still difficult days but I take comfort in knowing that it will also end. I’ve come to realize that having JB is not a roadblock for me to do the things I enjoy and to reach for my dreams. He is now my inspiration to achieve more in my life. I can still travel and continue with my adventures. It will actually be more exciting now since I have my baby with me to experience it. Mala-Dyan Castillejo ang drama ko nito. =)

When I look at my baby now, I no longer feel trapped. My love for him finally came and I can now truly say that I’m enjoying motherhood...every moment of it. =)

Random 10

Got tagged by Ivy.

* Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
* Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I used to climb mountains for fun.
2. I hate flying cockroaches. I think they are the most empowered insect.
3. I've never been to Mindanao (where my husband's hometown is)
4. I learned how to swim just 2 years ago.
5. Back when I was in high school, I was so addicted to PBA player Franz Pumaren that I was actually open to the idea of being his mistress. hehe!
6. I wanted to take up Psychology when I was in college but ended up being a Math major.
7. I really want to try sky diving (kelan kaya matutupad ang pangarap na ito?)
8. I used to have asthma when I was young.
9. I hate, hate, hate horror movies. Last horror movie I saw was Sixth Sense and I wasn't able to sleep well for one week!
10. Did I say I hate horror movies?

I'm tagging Kharol, May, Anna, Mai, Roger, Kiel, Faith, Maine, Reish,

Wow!

Salamat sa lahat ng bumati. My cellphone's been busy since this morning with mother's day greetings. Feeling ko birthday ko! Hehe.. =) To all the moms out there, smile! It's our day! And to my mom..as cliche as this may sound, I now have a deeper understanding of how much sacrifice you've done for me. Thank you! I love you ma!

bad day

For this week, this is my first difficult day. And I'm summoning every inch of energy I have in my body to stay calm and composed. Good luck to me.

JB's faces

Trigger happy si mommy. Click lang ng click. =) Enjoy!