trips, trips, trips

This is supposed to be a record of all my travels but the past few entries have been all emotional. So now, I'm recalling the past major trips I had for the past two months. Actually, there's only two. My Subic trip with tuknene and the much awaited Cebu getaway with my officemates.

Here's the pix from the Subic Trip last June.

Highlights: yummy bibingka at the bus stop, 7-hour nonstop chitchat, rain in the beach, interesting foreigners, andoks midnight snack, gian's "surprise" visit, KAYAK!, racing, big breakfast at bart's, hilarious tahong story and going straight to UP's isawan after a 3-hour trip.

And here some of the pix from Cebu:

Trip Highlights: plane ride of course! laughing over meals that take hours to prepare. yummy lechon. dangerous ride to "tops". the view at "tops". sutokil. tambuli beach. 400 peso buffet that I did not enjoy due to stomach pains. busog-meals not exceeding 150 pesos. 2 straight gimik nights. danggit! 3-hour waiting time due to delayed flights and laugh trips that never cease.

turning point

After vowing in my last post that I'd be stepping on the brakes, I hit gas once again! I told myself I needed this one last "craziness" to be my turning point to going back to serious mode.

Life has chapters and every person that comes your way always has a purpose. This person, that unexpectedly came one night, marked the beginning of a new chapter of my life. He brought a lot of excitements and adventures that I never thought I'll be experiencing. He opened my eyes to a lot of new things. I find myself in unchartered waters when I'm with him. I swore before that I won't be fooled by his type, but in dealing with him I somehow learned how to play the game.

Prolonging a chapter in ones life may do more harm than good. Even if the set up is very convenient. I realized that I may be more susceptible to hurt if I continue being with him. The walls I have built may not be that strong once I let myself deeper into the situation. So I'm ending it now. To save me from unnecessary pain. To save me from the pain that I know is not worth it. This time around, the juice ain't worth the squeeze. So I have to stop.

In this one last feat, I still don't have any regrets. A part of me was telling me not to, but the louder voice insisted that I needed to do this. To kill any ounce of curiosity I have left of him. I got what I needed. I had my closure. Women are suckers for closure, right? And I'm one of them. And that one last craziness was my ending to this chapter. I am now ok with the possibility that I may not see him again. He has served his purpose.

The lesson? This time, (as one friend pointed out) I have to liberate myself from what I think was missing before. If I've learned to let go of what I had, I should also let go of what was lacking. I involved myself in this hoping that I'd be able fill that missing gap. But I had too much of it and we all know that everything should just be taken in moderation.

The challenge.. sticking to everything I just said above. haha! Yes, I tend to be forgetful sometimes specially if the illogical side kicks in again but I do have my friends to wack me back to logical thinking.

So far, so good. 2006 is turning out to be one unforgettable year.

breathing space

I finally have some time to breath. The past few days seemed like a blur. I didn't know how I managed to pull through those tight deadlines, endless meetings and midterms in school! I can feel my head starting to ache due to tremendous stress. I slept for the past days with my stat book serving as my pillow and then waking up with a feel of a rock on my head and trying to pull myself together amidst all the things to be done. This is not the last of it though. I'm actually in the first stages of a very busy month ahead. All the energy-reviving activities I've done in Cebu are now totally gone. I need another vacation to make up for the stress this week. I'm so looking forward to weekends when I can finally get my 10-hour sleep!

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I'm missing someone right now. Life seems a little more exciting when he's around but I don't want to exert any effort anymore. I'm done with all his games and maybe I'm back to my cautious self. I've been possessed by my "id" the past months--the one which doesn't think and just goes for anything. I'm starting to step on the brakes as one friend has already expressed worry. I'm trying to change some of my principles a little bit. Just a little. I don't want to turn into ms. safe all of a sudden. I will still be taking risks, but with more thought before the plunge. =)

fooled twice

My gulay. I really am a magnet of a**holes lately. I think I have this sign on my forehead which reads, "you can mess with me". He is no different from his friend and I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he's less of a jerk. His behavior today proved otherwise. I really shouldn't be bothered with these things. This is just a waste of my effort and energy.

standstill

My life seems to be at a standstill right now. No major happenings. No major pains or joys. I'm trying to make it exciting but I seem to have run out of gas. Everything is stable at school. Even the tons of work can't make my mind rid of the thought that NOTHING is happening in my life right now. No exciting news to tell, no new thing to explore. I hope this is a temporary phase as I will go nuts if this will continue.

It sucks to feel this way. Especially if the first half of the year have been nothing but a roller coaster ride! And now everything seems to be at a complete stop. I don't know where to go and I don't know what to do to get me out of this rut. I just hope things will look up... soon!