Monday, June 4, 2007

after you go...

I can catch up on my reading... After you go, i'll have a lot more room for sleeping... and so the song goes.

No. We're not breaking up. He's just bound for deployment anytime soon and it's causing me this big rock down my throat. I can't help but get teary eyed every once in a while. I know I have to be strong. For him and more especially for myself. I've been through this. I should know the drill. We will only be 3 hours apart. Last time I was in the same dilemma, the separation meant 1 year of not seeing each other. This time, it SHOULD be easier. But it's not.

The thought that I've been setting aside for the past 3 months is slowly happening. If only there's a guide book on how to survive being a soldier's girlfriend. It pains me that his line of work will entail a lot of risks. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I should have known this the moment I decided to commit to him. I thought I was ready but when reality slowly dawns on you, it bites. Hard. Harder than I thought.

I am grateful though. For the 3 months that we spent together without any restrictions on going back to the barracks by 10 pm. Or restrictions on going to the mall. We were able to do things that normal couples do. Go on dates. Watch movies. See each other after work. Spend weekends together. Go on fights personally and not just through phone calls. It should have only been 2 months break but the elections proved to be a blessing in disguise resulting to an extended stay in Fort Boni.

We are now facing the hard truth. That he'll be fighting for the good of the country anytime soon. I am proud of what he does but it scares the hell out of me everytime I think about it. So we decided that everytime he'll be on an operation and will not be able to contact me, I will just think that he's just on duty. Just like his PMA days when he can't text during classes.

This will be a whole new battle. Let's see what will happen this time.


jishinka said...

Aaww.. What do I say? I really hope you guys work this through. Really. =)

berna said...

thanks faith! i sure hope we get through this. =) now that he's already deployed, so far so good. =)